My Alexander Technique teacher Elyse Shafarman, just published a useful blog on rushing around, and how it doesn’t serve many good purposes and quite a few deleterious ones! I commend her blog if you, too, encounter this problem from time to time in your life.
Somehow it seems that when we want instantaneous results, or “get behind” what we feel should be our schedule, or have a real, earnest deadline to meet, that the more we rush, the worse we fall behind.
When I was a practicing civil attorney, there was no way I could not be in court for the 9 am motion court call! And in 16 years I think I missed two such times, but was there by the second call/second chance at 9:30 am. So there are good reasons to rush–but it seems we create those reasons ourselves for the most part. Even anticipating extraordinary traffic or a BART breakdown should be anticipated, right?
Yesterday I was intending to paint another coat of white, but this time semi-gloss paint, to cover up the matte finish I had mistakenly used the first time on one closet door. I was in a bit of haste to get it done with a full plate of house cleaning to get ready for a guest, and a bit peeved at myself for initially and unwittingly choosing a matte finish to begin with. In haste I poured semi gloss paint into my pan and started on the project, noting half way thru that the color was a strange blue white, and not a cream white. I sort of like it I thought, but this means I have to put two coats on to cover the cream white. More work, more time. When I finished painting the door and a bit of trim I mentioned this strange color of white to my partner who said, “did you read the top of the paint can?”
Well, no, I had not. When I did, I noticed I had poured out light grey, another color paint from a second can I had placed on the table near the white paint can. After painting white on my closet door, I later intended to use the grey to correct some marks on our grey bathroom wall! I got so mad at myself and the time I had wasted that I sat down for a full two hours, drank coffee, and watched one of the football games! Now today I have to re-do the paint yet a third time.
Some students “rush” to lose weight or rush to see waistline inches falling off during their three-month waist-training coaching program. It’s an attitude or expectation that bodes ill for their chances of reaching the reasonable goals we establish at the outset. I make sure those goals are realistic and not overreaching, and if anything, that they are quite conservative.
No matter: those students with the habit or personality of not well tolerating anxiety, expecting instantaneous results, and not doing their homework first, sometimes can’t wait to see even modest improvements.
They want to measure their waist and weigh every day, not once a week as I advise (concentrating not on weight, but on measurements). They begin to obsess on numbers, and not on the process.
No matter I tell them before we begin, that many students in my experience don’t see results until the last two weeks of our three-month coaching program. No matter I tell them, that most students sometime in the program will “hit a wall” and want to quit, but that they should persevere all the way through in order to have the best chance of seeing the waist-training process work well to reach their goals.
If the student:
(1) has a firm commitment to their goals,
(2) has done research before entering our coaching program sufficient to know that their coach/adviser is trustworthy and has their best interests at heart,
(3) maintains that trust in the advice they receive, and
(4) is willing to tolerate a bit of anxiety for only three short months (the time just rushes by!),
then that student will likely take the advice to continue on, and accordingly, they will and do each their goals.
Rushing rarely, if ever, pays!